Driving off a cliff, with friends.

 So, it's true. I'm writing a novel. I'm not sure when it'll be finished, and what I'll do with it once it's complete, but I felt like it's time.

Sure, I guess I can give you a brief overview...

It's about a man that hates life so much that even after winning the lottery, his only aspiration was to purchase a large moving truck, start driving towards the Gorge in Washington State, pick up people that look miserable along the way by offering them money and a new life, and then drive all of them off of a cliff at the Gorge to end their misery for them. It just didn't make sense to him that he, of all people, would win the lottery. In a completely emotionally-frozen state in life, he found it laughable.

The story turns. There's a variation of love, a nice tiny Mexican guy, an old angry racist, a little girl, and a variety of other people that enter his truck, and go for a ride.

Along the way, there are some ridiculous conversations and actualizations that this guy is enlightened by. The ending is good. The middle is okay. The start is pretty bad. But all-in-all, I think it'll be worth burning.

I missed a couple of weeks of writing because I was off at bachelor parties and man weekends. Bachelor parties always get me. It's like watching Charlie Sheen explode into a cocaine and hooker binge in the days leading up to being admitted to rehab. You know he's thinking, "Life is absolutely going to blow when I'm clean". And you know what? Maybe he's got a point.

For the most part, who uses cocaine? Rich people. Is it because they are rich, that they use cocaine? Why do they use cocaine? To stay awake and alert. Sure, there are reasons why people need to stay awake and alert, but who wants to stay awake and alert, is the question.

Rich people. That's who.

Air traffic controllers need to stay awake and alert, because their attention and awareness is depended upon by thousands of innocent travelers. If they fall asleep, people die, families are torn, finances are ruined, corporations flounder in a sea of lawsuits, unions go apeshit. Bad stuff happens.

Rich people want to stay awake and alert, because life always has the potential of being awesome if you're rich. If rich people fall asleep, no jet skis, no cordial hookers, no hot tubs, no pet monkeys with little vests on, no five-star surf n' turf, no new socks and underwear every day, no balconies, no synthesized-youth, no Brazil, no overlooked public urination. Bad stuff happens, or at least good stuff doesn't happen.

If you're life is awesome, or has the capacity to be awesome at any given moment, you want to be awake as often as possible to experience it. Otherwise, you go to sleep, because only in your dreams can you have the reality that you dream about. You need to sleep so that you can stay awake throughout your painfully mundane and aimless days.

It's an ever-existing debate, does money bring happiness?

Can money bring happiness?

Sure it can.

Would backpacking across Australia make you happy? Too broke to go? Here's $25k, have at it.

Would successfully treating your A.I.D.S. make you happy? Can't afford it? Here's $500k, go get yourself fixed-up.

All you think about all day at work is following your dreams of having your own body-painting studio in New Hampshire? Can't afford to quit your job? Can't afford to uproot your family and move across the country? Here's $3.5 million, go get your colorful-nude-wetness on.


Money can bring happiness. But does it? That's the debatable spin. Rich people die from self-inflicted injuries, spiral out of financial well-being, and live miserably all the time. It didn't bring happiness in those examples, but it could have.

Can a glass of wine be pleasant? Yes. Can overconsumption of wine lead you to embarrassing yourself beyond repair because you puked in an open-casket at a funeral? Yes. This pleasant/puking-in-an-open-casket conundrum epitomizes life. There is certainly room for variance, but in most cases, life is a controllable coin-flip.

If it's not obvious at this point, I touch on the cash-conundrum in this story.

The main character arrives at some insane clarity by unraveling completely.

I'll ruin the ending for you, he does drive the truck off a cliff, and the people he picked up along the way are still inside of it.

You will lose yourself in this horror/drama/action-adventure/romantic-comedy/indie-thriller. I guarantee it, like the Men's Warehouse guy.

Until next time: Whether you like it or not, you will like it, or not.